My Blog

26/08/06 - 1627hrs

I don’t know why i’m feeling shitty these few days… Seems that my mind is somewhere else wondering about.. Yesterday i was required to carry out reps of 15 and end up doing up to 18 and even 20…. Today, the whole revision thingy is not going on as planned.. Reading a few sentences and i end up thinking abt "stuffs". .It seems that my mind is everywhere… I was never like this when i was in Poly then… The more i read, the more the knowledge just leaves my brain like its being washed away… Gosh… The feeling is just not good man…

Quizzes are just in a week or two away only… i tried walking around the house and reading up the chapters to get the momentum back in place.. But all doesn’t seems to work… Worst still, the tutorials are something that i have come across, but everything seems so difficult…  It’s weird… nonetheless…

Actually that certain something has been going on in my head for a while now.. I dont know whether its really keeping me restless all the time.. But i just don’t know how i should phrase it out… Everytime i hear about it, i’ll just get totally uncomfortable… Something that i shouldn’t be reacting for… I tried telling myself to keep cool and all… But the worst it gets..

It was on Tues, 22/08/06… I was in the lib and suddenly to hear abt it… I was just away from where i was… Even attending lectures was useless… I had my mind somewhere else… Wat can i Do??

I have been trying to say it out.. But… To think abt how it would end up… of the worst possible situation, just makes me edgy… I wish that i can just put eveything to sleep and leave the thoughts there.. I think this time i’m totally out of place for everything.. man….

I guez time will tell… I am hoping that eveything will just slowly leave me and set me free for the better… Its not something that i wanna do… But i think it has to end somewhere… hmmm….

I hope for the best….

17/08/06 - 2135hrs

It happened again… But this time the dark serenity of dusk cause a shimmer upon the look of her face… Compared to the morning look that innocently protrays a mellow and discreet smile.. I was talking attentively to my beloved sister and every picture around me was blurred for a moment… The buses just swift past us letting the time past…

Only, when we board bus 963… I caught a glimpse of that same person i see on most morning…. Time freezes for a moment and i was trying to tip toe and get my vision to see the whole of her… My sister was looking at me thinking what i was looking at… I told her…….. Look… She was blurred by my actions for a moment… Then she took in what i was saying…

I was distanced by that mere 2-3metres from her… I look attentively while she was looking through the clear tampered glass screen… It was 5secs.. No no… It was more than 10sec of raging thoughts running through….  I guess she noticed the waves of eyes looking at her.. She rolled her eyes over to me… I looked away over her shoulder pretending there was a big advertisement that caught my attention… What a pretentious act.. HAHA…

My sis knew and saw… She smiles…. Bukit Panjang Plaza was just a few stops away from my home… My sis and me got down from the bus.. The journey never felt so fast compared to the time whereby i was all alone waiting to reach bus stop of my home… It was antagonizing… But not now…

But it seems to fade as i speak now… Why??? I can’t think of any other reason for this to happen… It’s such an irony for i’m made for such things to happen… I don’t know… Maybe through the night, it will just be another memory that past as a vision of an everyday life….

09/08/06 - 2101hrs

It took me awhile to consume the adjustment for leaving my brain left swarming with spider webs to clearing the stale airs for a new beginning… 07/08/2006, a day to remember for a start of pure indulgence and attention to my academic matters. How can it be?

I saw the rush of others making their way to the lecture halls and labs for the scheduled and planned timetables which we had to follow.. I was lost for a while looking at the rigid structures that stands above me. Compared to the relaxed and laid back environment i saw at NIE… It looked so excessively routined that struck me.. oh no… i’ll be like this for the next three years.. As mentioned by most, that engineers are rigid?? is it true?? i would put on a grim smile whenever that image was portrayed upon the masses..

I liked the whole idea of going back to school though. Meet new people and friends from all walks of life… I was too absorbed by the words that spills out indicating wisdoms for a new knowledge for me… The issues were nothing new to me.. but it was a higher level of learning… Worried that i couldn’t catch up i suppose… for whole of my life, this was the first time i am worried about my studies… i was puzzled by myself with the whole new ME… it’s not that i was never worried when i was in SP.. but i fell jumpy… now…. compared to last time.

With all that worries hanging over me, i forgot to appreciate one thing… The gift of god… hahah!!! the VENUSes that makes your day a little brighter… hahah!! Maybe i was just too focused on my work.. i don’t know… i guess so… But i’m always reminded to perform better because i have to thank a person… Who would be there to remind me to stay away from the virus… haha!!!! Thank you there…

But in all,  i never felt better to be in a whole new environment for the start… well, see how it goes.. And to strive for the best… YeaH….

29/07/2006 - 1629hrs

The look of the 5 big red gantry gates became less significant as i left…. The rustic look of 1970s when it was first gave birth still stands for the operations of saving lives…. That last walk throughout reminds me of everything that hold a service of time i had spent.. Quiet and tranquil was how it was… All the engines were parked waiting for the moment where everyone would just jump out and leave the rugged tiled bay…  Watchroom, Paramedic office and the long hallway that leads to OC, RC and our office…Everything is left behind… The simple Hello and hi in the morning from the different faces of the personnel everyday..

The moment of quiet and steady lifestyle will soon be replaced with the bustling lifestyle over in the secluded west again… To be surrounded with 4 walls that echoes the voice and accent of professors and lecturers from different ethnic cultures and background. Shaken? maybe… to get back to the reality of getting the mechanism of my brain in use again… but, i told myself to pick up the pieces as i move from time to time to fit the puzzle that is missing… Everything seems to be instantaneous…

I’m eager to know wats behind the closed doors that i’ll be going through for the next three years… The positive aura envelopes my mind to give everything a new and fresh start… Leave the past and move on… puzzled by that consistent thoughts which has a different impact when it comes to affections that has never changed…

maybe, maybe the questions to all the puzzles in my mind will be answered along the journey… a week of short rest to switch from working and getting back to the books seems too short of a time… but… it has been set… i would just move and see forward what the world has to offer and to strive for… As for now, that simple goodbye and farewell to a place that i have once set foot on… Goodbye…

16/07/06 - 2306hrs

The setting of big house, having a porch, driveway and the privacy to say… Event that was set at Aloha Changi bungalow. The feeling was neutral as i reach the driveway, quiet, dark and the air so still… The feature was set in the 1950s with colonial houses that were once homes to british officers..Ferry Point Chalet 2 was the name given… I bet it could accomodate more than 30 to 40 ppl in that house… In me, "what big bungalows they used to stay in". The outlook of the place was eerie intially.. Rigid designs of the houses, mellow interior settings and colour. My sister, brother in law, uncle and aunt were there first including two of sisters best friends..

It was a slow start as i reach aloha changi… The living room, had 8 single sofas that was placed entirely on its own… Coffee and side tables complete it… I had the impression of my classes when i saw that area… It was as big as a single classroom… The dining hall, the rooms and even the entertainment hall had me gasping for luxury… 4 rooms of the same kind with complete furniture for use.. I could never ask for more in staying there even for 2 nights… It was simple yet it gave me the homely feeling which i settled down quickly to appreciate every aspect of it.. The time flew by without me noticing it.. I went around to see how majestic it could be when we owns it… It was 2100hrs when i glance at my watch where my parents called everybody for a light supper out at changi village… I felt the peace of "kampung" houses before going out… Only to think that i’m still in singapore… :)..

We settled in for a show that endy and my sis rented after the supper… A show to relax and laugh out to… The show reminded me of something when i watch it at the theater… "Meet the fockers"… It wasn’t the plot of the show that caught my attention… I was reliving the time i watch it at the movie.. What could be better than to watch it with someone then… It came to an end as soon i had myself yawning… My brain was telling me to rest through for an enjoyable time tmrw.. I clean up and went to bed…

It couldn’t be better than be up by 8am… I don’y think i would be up if i was at home… Breakfast, a visit to Ntuc Fairprice to purchase items for the barbeque and everything was done.. But then after sending them to the bungalow… I had to go back home and settle some problems with the tail and head light of our car… The day went by till 6pm only to spend it at the mechanic.. I was lethargic waiting and have not eaten… The mood went awkwardly different by then…

Had a clean up and went down for the BBQ… Everyone was there… my brother in law family and our family members… We started on while waiting for the rest to come.. Jumari and sharon.. Endy’s brother in law and elder sis..Then came his closest cousin, nadia and her husband..man,  i can’t remember his name… haha… Busu and family with us… We laugh and mingle together with them over a plate of Barbequed chicken wing and hotdogs… It was all good… I couldn’t eat much and wasn’t with much appetite…

We waited for the big event.. Cake cutting… It was my sis’s birthday that is coming soon!! and whoever’s birthday that was in july.. haha.. I believe he organise this especially for my sis.. hmmm.. that was very lovely.. Simple was the word… The cake, pictures and lots of talking.. haha…

Then after all, we went down to the jetty for fishing.. It has been a while since i went fishing and caught one.. Well, it was there just for the leisure and get away mode… We had conversation and capture the night lights from across the sea… The lights that came from pulau ubin… We had a couple of snacks with us and kept us awake till the hrs of the night… I felt exhausted and needed that good night sleep by 2am… My dad and busu cleared up and we all went up.. CAme the hot shower.. and yeah.. i went into dreamland…

Everyone was awake when i got up.. haha.. as always… We had some food, drinks to supply us that energy for another short hrs before we reach home.. We had pictures taken and cleared up while then waiting for checking out…

We then went in the car with all the tired faces trying to catch every resting time we can… I saw the last of the door took a close.. and we left…

13/07/06 - 2307hrs

Can the journey home be any simpler? The actions of people boarding at the entry.. While some leave by the exit doors.. It came to my attention of how many people i cross path with just on that single trip home… Babies crying, the looks of shagged man and woman rushing to have that seat for the comfort of travelling and Young adults returning home after an hour or two of lecture… It may seem to be just a journey or routine for some taking that same route.. While some could be the first experience of that bus journey to a totally new destination… "It’s a pleasure how you see the busy day has come to a halt…The sights of people getting lesser and lesser by the hour through the night… Even the birds and bees recides in the comfort of their homes… Just for the purpose of fulfilling the duties of tmrw, some rest and snuggle up to the resting arms of their bed…"

Some would appreciate the surrounding that catch their eyes along the way… It did for me everytime… The lights that came from the Al-Ameen restaurant capture my attention of that undesired night.. Sunday, 2230hrs… The flashback of the road, the carpark, my dad, my mum, the Toyota and our car… How could it ever happen? Was it my fault? Was it his? The black coat that set the theme of his car make me wonder, was i blinded by the glimmering colour? The re-enactment of the event came flowing through my tired mind…………….

" All i heard was Wowowowowowo!!! The whisker movement that i’ve made was followed by a minute thump at the back of the car… I turn over and knew that it happen… It was like a time freeze for that 30secs.. Before i could react next.. I said… Move faizal, move faizal… Telling myself that something needs to be done… I reach over to have the doors open and reluctantly lifted my heavy legs out of the car.. We had a short conversation just to realise he provoke the ego of men… I kept my cool and saw a long stretch of lights beeming behind his celica.. I made the move to move my car away from the road by the side… His too… I shifted to neutral and pulled up the hand brake…. I felt like hundreds of paired eyes were arrowed towards me just that the windows of the car separated me from their piercing questions… Even the waiter holding onto the teh tarik was freezed in time… I tried to handle the situation as calmly as possible…

We talked for no more than ten mins to where none of us wanted to give in… So, he says… "  i wanna make a claim against you" I progressively say ok… Initially i thought it was a sign of defeat to have that as solution.. But, to handle matters effectively was my main concern… No damage to his and to my car… So, i left it to jotting down his car license plate number and car model… I Scribble on some unused papers remembering that it would be the last time i wanna see such actions..

Then…. he left…. I’m left in anticipation to hear the verdict of the claim running though my mailbox…"

I was awakened from my flash back when a lady came seating beside me… An accidental nudge that she cause,then came a sorry from her… I just smiled and said, "it’s ok"…

The 15mins of journey was a total blank… Silence it was… 15mins of silence… Not thinking of anything at that point of time…Nothing… Just enjoying the sights around me… To realise that ,came my stop… I stretch over to press upon the stop button and slowly came down…

There it was, an ending to another bus journey… Tmrw will be another journey with new appreciation to the surrounding…. tmrw, will be another chapter of a memory…

30/06/06 - 2341hrs

A few days back.. i was talking to a fren of mine and it just crossed my mind that it’s gonna be fasting month in about three months less… yah!! that’s right!!!… Man, It feels good to be fasting again… it brings your mind of eating actually.. haha… Ermm, anyway.. The month of ramadan will start on the 24th of sep if the "baby moon" can be seen.. hehe, direct translation… and of course over a period of 1 month… yap… i was reminded before my mum told me abt an event that occured abt 20-30 years back whereby after the fast for 28 days… they announce that the next day was HARI RAYA!!!!.. Basically the fasting period was shorter than a normal 30 days fasting period… yah!!! THe "baby moon" was seen earlier than expected.. Gazing at the baby moon is actually to indicate a new month in the Islam calendar.. yah, so…in lay man terms that’s how it is derived gazing at the moon.. anyway, the whole event struck me was bcos my poly frens intended to go for a trip to A-famosa annnndddddd… The probable date falls somewhere in late sep and early OCt… so, hmmm… i don’t know whether i can go then… well, it all depends though.. but, if it seems alrite to me… then it should be ok… but, whatever it is… it is still uncertain… hmmmm… man!!! match for germany VS argentina.. after half time…time to watch… haha…

25/06/06 - 2306hrs

The more my period as NSF is gonna end.. The more stuff i’m required to do.. wat is this… haha… More stuff from my officer, my junior kept sleeping in station… end up, all the work i have to do… well, actually can’t blame anyone… I have been talking nonsense to them since i was gonna leave station.. haha!! i guez retribution.. hehahah… Just like on a sunday morning… They had some street soccer competition and i’m the person again to go… Bangla again.. haha!! commentator, plus prize presenter.. man, too much multi tasking since i’ve been around… It’s been like close to 21 months since i’m in Ns and time is already nearby for me to move on again… hmmmm….. Tuas is a big family… haha… The times kena screw by OC… haha.. kena caught going down the sliding pole and stuff… got strip and thrown into the "kolam"… the soccer times… man, memories memories…  Most of them have already ORD… The seniors or previous left with… let me see…. EH, ME ONLy man!!!!! gosh…. anyway, we have the same grace periods to serve… so, either we leave early or late… it’s the same.. Wah, the time now… i think i should be asleep now… waking up early tmrw for work… ok, till again….

24/06/06 - 1038hrs

Hey hey… GOod morning!!!!!.. Today i’ll be the DJ of my own blog.. haha!!! I mentioned abt singapore idols song choices on my previous blog… well, i think of a few songs that would really suit for a piano session… Hmmm, like i know very well like that ah… haha…ermm, anyway.. i was listening to some ballet like songs a moment back.. I thought maybe i wanna share wat are some of the songs that can put me to bed.. ;).. well, soothing ah… I have like three songs that i like to listen to at times when i’m thinking of something or someone.. oppsss.. no lah.. no such thing.. haha… ok ok, They are 1) Cascada, Everytime we touch( slow version) 2)DJ Sammy, Heaven(slow version) 3) Mariah Carey, My All… Hey, come on… Lady singers have that touch of soul when it comes to these kind of songs man… can’t help it… haha… hmmm, anyway… right now… i’m listening to Cascada.. so, why not i share the lyrics now… Pls enjoy.. If u want the song, let me know yah…

Everytime We Touch by Cascada

I still hear your voice,
When you sleep next to me.
I still feel your touch,
in my dreams.
Forgive me my weakness,
But I dont know why,
Without you it’s hard to survive

(chorus)
‘Cause every time we touch,
I get this feeling
And every time we kiss,
I swear I could fly
Can’t you feel my heart beat fast,
I want this to last,
Need you by my side
‘Cause every time we touch,
I feel the static,
And every time we kiss,
I reach for the sky,
Can’t you feel my heart beat slow
I can’t let you go,
Want you in my life.

Your arms are my castle,
Your heart is my sky.
They wipe away tears that I cry
The good and the bad times,
We’ve been through them all.
You make me rise when I fall..

(chorus)
‘Cause every time we touch,
I get this feeling
And every time we kiss,
I swear I could fly
Can’t you feel my heart beat fast,
I want this to last,
Need you by my side
‘Cause every time we touch,
I feel the static,
And every time we kiss,
I reach for the sky,
Can’t you feel my heart beat slow,
I can’t let you go,
Want you in my life.

‘Cause every time we touch,
I get this feeling
And every time we kiss,
I swear I could fly,
Can’t you feel my heart beat fast,
I want this to last,
Need you by my side.

Yo Yo… So there’s the lyrics..wow, everytime i hear this.. it makes me feel, let love be everywhere… There’s so much to be expressed… hmmm… well… DJ Faizal is moving out now… Yo Yo… see you again… CIAO!!!!!

23/06/06 - 2321hrs

I just remembered hours back when we were at the gym… haha!!! He was again talking abt the fishes in the sea..haha!!! "Beware" some of you might not understand… BUt some will… haha!!!! HE started talking from 1845hrs till like 2015hrs none stop.. again, i was listening to him talk and talk.. but it was really entertaining… haha!! i can’t believe he acknowledge himself as Superman as spoken by ehmmmm… haha!!! well, i hand to you man bro… Comparing a spiderman and a Superman was not fair though.. Thinking you are superman.. haha!!!.. Well, yah… spiderman was a bit thin though.. :).. ermm, anyway…. you did talk alot of nonsense man… haha, i think it got worst than the other time when we were at sentosa..haha…  i hope you are reading this anytime in the future so that i can put in more in the future.. hehe… joking lah bro.. ermm, anyway… i can see that things have been very different for him.. and yeah!! i’m really happy for him man… ALL THE BEST DUDE!!!!!….